Overcoming the Hidden Fears That Hold You Back at Work

Tanya Hilts
May 27
2 min read

Most of us don’t get “stuck” because we lack skill or ambition. We get stuck because something quieter is running the show: an underlying fear.

Sometimes it’s obvious. More often, it’s disguised as being “busy,” “waiting for the right time,” or “just wanting more information.” But underneath? There’s usually a fear that’s keeping you safe… and keeping you small.

Step 1: Notice where you start to feel stuck

The first clue is the moment your energy changes.

Where do you hesitate?

You avoid a difficult conversation with a colleague or client.
You delay a decision because you want to be 100% certain.
You say yes when you mean no, then resent it later.
You over-explain, over-prepare, or overwork to prevent criticism.

Your “stuck point” is valuable data. Don’t judge it—study it.

Step 2: Name the fear (clearly and specifically)

Vague fears are powerful. Specific fears can be worked with.

Ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I take the next step?

Common answers look like this:

Fear of damaging a relationship by being direct or confrontational.
Fear of tarnishing your reputation if you make the wrong choice.
Fear of disappointing someone if you set a boundary or say “no.”

When you name it, you stop wrestling with the symptoms and start dealing with the cause.

Step 3: Trace where it comes from

Here’s the part most people skip: your fear often isn’t about this situation.

It’s usually based on an old experience—something that taught you “when I do X, I get punished.”

Maybe you:

got criticized for speaking up,
were labeled “difficult” for having an opinion,
were rewarded for being agreeable and helpful,
learned that mistakes weren’t safe.

That old story can quietly shape how you lead, communicate, and make decisions today.

The goal isn’t to blame the past. It’s to recognize that your current workplace isn’t always the same environment your nervous system is reacting to.

Step 4: Run safe, small, low-risk experiments

You don’t overcome fear by forcing yourself into a huge leap.

You overcome fear by collecting new evidence.

Pick one assumption your fear is making and test it with a small experiment.

Examples:

If you fear conflict will ruin relationships: practice one clear sentence in a low-stakes conversation (e.g., “I’m not available for that timeline, but I can do next week.”).
If you fear making the wrong decision: set a decision deadline and choose the “reversible” option first.
If you fear money-related uncertainty: meet with a financial planner or trusted advisor for an independent evaluation.
If you fear disappointing others: say no once to something small and watch what actually happens.