4 Practical Ways to Work Better With Difficult Colleagues

Workplace tension is one of those things that can quietly drain your energy. It’s easy to get pulled into the back-and-forth, replay conversations in your head, or start bracing for the next interaction.

The problem is: negative dynamics don’t just feel bad — they can create real business risk. Miscommunication leads to errors. Stress narrows your thinking. And when you’re stuck in conflict mode, creativity and good decision-making tend to drop.

If you’re dealing with a colleague who’s difficult, unpredictable, or just plain exhausting, here are four practical approaches that can help you protect your work and move things forward.

1) Remember: you’re only seeing part of the picture

Even when you’re confident you’re “right,” your view is still incomplete. You don’t have access to someone else’s full context — their workload, pressure, priorities, or what they’re hearing from other people.

Before you go into a tough conversation (or fire off that reply), pause and pressure-test your own thinking. Ask yourself:

• What if my interpretation is off?

• If I’m wrong, what would I do differently?

• What story am I telling myself about their intentions?

• What assumptions am I making — and do I have proof?

This isn’t about shrinking yourself or accepting poor behaviour. It’s about staying flexible enough to find the real issue instead of fighting the version of it you’ve created in your head.

2) Treat the conflict like a shared problem, not a personal battle

When things get tense, it’s easy to make the goal “win the interaction.” But that usually backfires. A better approach is to decide what you actually want out of the relationship and the work — then steer the conversation toward that.

Before you engage, get clear on your objective:

• Are you trying to get a project completed and out the door?

• Do you want a working relationship that’s sustainable long-term?

• Are you aiming to reduce the emotional fallout after each interaction?

Once you know the outcome you’re working toward, it becomes easier to stay focused on solutions, ask better questions, and avoid getting hooked by side comments or tone.

3) Be intentional about who you talk to — and what you say

Venting can feel like relief in the moment, but it often adds fuel to the fire. Gossip spreads quickly, and it can damage trust in ways that are hard to undo.

If you need to talk it out (and sometimes you do), choose your sounding board carefully. Look for people who:

• are constructive, not inflammatory

• genuinely want the best for you

• will challenge your perspective when needed

• can keep things confidential

And keep your sharing tight: focus on facts, impact, and what you’re trying to solve — not character judgments.

4) Run small experiments until you find what works

Not every strategy works with every person. So instead of trying to “fix” the relationship in one big move, test a few small approaches and see what changes.

Pick two or three tactics to try for a defined period (a week or two). For example:

• If someone is chronically negative or short, ignore the tone and respond only to the content.

• If meetings escalate, switch to written updates with clear next steps.

• If you keep getting surprised, ask for expectations in writing before you start.

The key is to treat it like a process: try, observe, adjust. You’re building a playbook for working effectively — even when the other person isn’t easy.

You don’t need perfect harmony at work to do great work. But you do need strategies that keep conflict from hijacking your focus.

Start small: widen your perspective, define the goal, choose your support wisely, and test what helps. Over time, you’ll spend less energy managing the friction — and more energy getting results.

Until next time,